My Reiki Journey: A Homecoming
Sometimes we forget that we need to embark on the journey with patience and ease, as we do not know how long our quest will take. Just know that listening to your core is the only compass you will need.
I will admit, it is not the most conventional thing to become an energy worker, so let me explain how I decided to become a reiki practitioner. If you are not interested in hearing the longer version, just skip down to the third header–the actutual homeconing.
After a decade worth of work experiences that led to nothing but dead-ends and frustration, I discovered librarianship and decided to pursue my Master’s degree. As a first-gen student this meant a huge accomplishment to me. It also meant I would finally be able to follow a straight career path I was ready to settle in to.
Initially, I enjoyed my studies during the first year, but during the second year I noticed a shift. It is then that my true motivation became clearer to me. I realized that obtaining an MLS was a way of proving to me that I was capable, worthy, and intelligent. I had wanted to clear up old wounds linked to imposter syndrome and low self-worth, and it worked, partially. After all, I earned mostly A’s and my confidence was growing. Yet, it wasn’t the grades that enabled me to shift, but the inner work I was doing that mattered more. I realized that more healing came from understanding my “why” better.
I realized my willingness to settle was driven by a longing. A longing to belong somewhere, to define myself clearly for others. To have something to say that starts with “I am” rather than “I work at” when people asked what I do. But, during my second year in grad school, I had moved to a space where outside validation was not needed anymore. This realization came out of deep reflection. It also came from daring to dream up a future with colorful paint but without any clear shapes. Right then, I wanted to quit but decided I was too far into my studies. I had invested so much time and effort into school already that I was going to finish this degree. Plus, I still think librarianship is a fine career, it just isn’t for me at this time. Finally, in December of 2019 I completed my program.
Willingness to Explore
I always had this willingness to explore and I was going to do just that again. I had no actual plan and only knew that 2020 would be my year of living heart-centered. This meant that I would not formulate a rational plan in my head of what I thought I should be doing and by what was probably instilled in me through societal norms and expectations. Instead, I would follow what lights me up internally, so I could find out what truly aligns with my inner core. I wasn’t able to define what I was looking for, and ultimately what I had been in search of for over a decade but I was going to take this approach and stick with it.
Then came COVID-19 and as many of us were forced out of our regular routine I began to go on an inner journey. For me, this became a sacred pause. It was truly the space I needed to embark on my self-discovery.
New Beginning: My Homecoming
After some weeks, in May of 2020, I decided to become a student again, but one that isn’t bound to one institution or linked to a professor who gives assignments and grades. As a student of Reiki–a form of energy healing–the learning is more fluid and free and depends on you as an individual mostly and the ability of your mentors and teachers. Anyone can get attuned, but how far you want to take this practice it is up to you.
My attunement to Reiki can be viewed as an initiation to the universal healing energy from the higher realm that is available to all. Interestingly, the day of my Reiki attunement was the day my official commencement for my master’s degree would have been held, which was canceled due to the pandemic. I think having it fall on that symbolic day is the universe reassuring me, too!
Reiki aligns with me well because it is part of a mindfulness practice, something I have been cultivating and exploring for at least 10 years. Reiki represents a new level of my own practice for me and I am looking forward to seeing the changes it will bring forth. In the very least I feel like I can finally be my authentic self by allowing myself to align with what I actually do for a living.
To make a really long story short, my journey has only begun in the beginning of 2020, and it took me two degrees, a lot of rerouting and trials and error over the past 10 years to finally be here. It wasn’t until I realized that my spiritual practice should be the center of my world instead of a side dish to a stressful job or life. I have never felt so much at peace. Getting attuned to Reiki was my homecoming.
Let me end this post with one advice based on my journey: you are allowed to change your mind. You are an ever-evolving being and what aligned with you yesterday does not have to align with you tomorrow. You are allowed to evolve. Likewise, there is no need to settle and decide if you are not ready to. Explore as much as you want to. I allow myself to lean into anything that interests me including tarot, crystals, Astrology, Akashik records–some of these practices were part of me for years, some are new–but I am not limiting myself to just one thing. There is way too much out there!
So, only settle if you feel called to center somewhere, but really listen first to that inner voice. No matter how risky it seems to be, only you will know what is right for you. The only thing you have to do it listen to your inner voice and be honest with yourself.
So, look beyond your fears and restrictions, it’s worth it. Behind your fear lies your road to your desires and fulfilling those will lead you to a better life.
You got this. It’s not important that you have it all figured out, it only matters that you are willing to take a single step.
We are all worth it! (I know it sounds so cheesy but it’s so true).